The grass is always greener… isn’t it?
For those of you that don’t know it, there’s an expression in english that goes “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”. The literal explanation is that a neighbor’s garden always looks better. The thought behind it is that you’ll always feel what you have is less than what your neighbor (or someone you know) has. In other words, you see the positive things about someone else’s life, and compare it to the negative things in your own life, so that theirs seems better in comparison. In theory - assuming you feel like this all the time, and not just sporadically - this would prevent you from attaining any sort of happiness.
It’s curious, however, that this very fact is the foundation of capitalism. You go to work, and work so hard, because you want more. You want more money because it buys you things, and we’ve been trained to believe those things bring happiness. Whether those things bring actual happiness or just fun is a question I’ll let you solve on your own, this page is about the perception of happiness - that of your own and of others. Further exploring into why we feel this way, it is just a question of whether it’s hardwired into our brain (for some sort of evolution - you want more and better thereby creating a self-fulfilling prophecy), or whether our society has trained us into thinking that way.
I believe it’s the second, by going back in history. Well, not quite going back in history, but somewhere in the Amazon forest. As far back as I can remember in Eurasian culture, it’s been a goal to acquire more wealth. Considering that African tribal leaders sold some of their own in the slave market of the 1600’s (and wished to be paid with nothing more than glass), let’s assume those cultures have sought wealth as well. However, if you go as far back in ‘civilization’ to where everyone had the same possessions - or the entire tribe owned them - in a society similar to those of many Amazon tribes, you’ll see there’s none of that. On the other hand, if everyone shares the same items, it’s only logical you don’t want what someone else owns. Still, in a society mimicking a sort of communism (everyone works for the good of the tribe), this feeling is non-existent. There’s no “oh no, he gets to use the axe all week *grr* I want it” feelings.
Now that I’ve (somewhat) explained the why, let’s explore what effect this might have. Let’s assume you feel like you’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted. You have no desire to get any more, no motivation to do anything to get any more. What happens next depends on one question: “What do you have to do to maintain status quo?” If nothing, then there’s no reason for you to do anything anymore. You could do whatever you please, whatever gains you satisfaction. You would be free to do whatever brings you happiness, assuming you know what could do so. If, however, you still need money for your status quo (say for food and whatnot), you would still have to work.
I’d like to suggest to you that it’s okay to feel that “the grass is greener”, but not that “the grass is always greener”. Too much of anything is bad. Next time you’re in a situation where you feel that the grass is greener, push yourself to think of the negatives of their situation and remember that your situation has positives as well. You’ll find that often, in your opinion, their negatives outweigh their positives. If not, I suppose it’s a good goal you might strive for. And remember, appearances are deceiving…
